Revving up the Engines: The AEW Rampage
Crikey, mates! Pull up your britches and pour yourself a pint of stout as we brace ourselves for a rip-roaring recap of the AEW Rampage Results May 19. This week’s show, bright and early due to the NHL on TNT, got most people ducking and diving before the sun decided to take a kip. It was as if Blackpool had come to Florida! But let’s not dilly-dally around, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty, shall we?
Chapter One: When Moguls and Limitless Lock Horns
For starters, the Mogul Embassy and Naturally Limitless carried on their feud with as much finesse as a seagull nicking your chips at the beach. Bishop Kaun and Dustin Rhodes, in particular, had more beef than a Sunday roast. And that was just the tip of the iceberg! AEW Rampage Results May 19? keep reading for more.
You see, on the side-lines, we had The Acclaimed and “Daddy Ass” Billy Gunn squaring up against The Varsity Athletes. The lass Jade Cargill was also up and about, swinging arms and legs in a display more engaging than a royal parade. The excitement was so palpable; it could’ve given the Queen’s Guard a run for their money.
But enough of me yakking on. Let’s cut to the chase and see what transpired during this rollicking Friday show.
Chapter Two: The BCC vs. Best Amigos – A Tussle for the Ages
In this highly anticipated trios match between the BCC and the Best Amigos, Jon Moxley and Bandido blasted out of the gates like greyhounds chasing a hare.
As the initial dust settled, Trent Beretta and Wheeler Yuta waltzed into the centre of the ring, eyeballing each other as though they’d just had a squabble about who left the kettle empty. Before you could say “Tea or coffee?”, they were scrapping like two chaps arguing over the last pint.
Chuck Taylor, playing the role of the well-timed cavalry, swanned in to lend a hand to Beretta, allowing him to regain control. But, in the tumultuous world of wrestling, control is as slippery as a wet bar of soap. Soon enough, the action spilled out of the ring, and Yuta smacked a chop block, seizing control back like a well-played game of tug-of-war.
As the televised break rolled in, BCC were bossing the match, treating the viewers to a last glimpse of action like a tantalising cliffhanger at the end of a TV show episode. Beretta, meanwhile, was at the receiving end of more punishment than a bottom at an old-fashioned public school.
The action dont stop
However, with the stubbornness of a mule, Beretta endured, finally managing to tag in a revitalised Bandido. The high-flyer then took to the skies, demonstrating a level of acrobatics that would make even the nimblest luchadors in AEW or any other promotion, take notice. Every move he executed was as smooth as a buttered weasel, serving to enhance his entertainment factor. Indeed, with Bandido, one is always on the edge of one’s seat, not knowing what rabbit he might pull out of his wrestling hat next.
Although the BCC emerging victorious was about as surprising as rain in London, it didn’t detract from the riveting spectacle that was this match. Each of the six lads involved got their moments under the spotlight, each contributing to a wonderfully engaging bout of wrestling theatre.
WINNER: Blackpool Combat Club
Notable Natter and Observations
Despite the predictability of BCC winning, much like the inevitability of British Rail announcing train delays, the entertainment quotient was as high as a London skyscraper. But here’s a bit more goss for you:
- Best Friends and Yuta are still in a bit of a pickle. We never got closure on that, like a Brexit negotiation.
- Taylor, bless his cotton socks, was as much use as a chocolate teapot in helping Castagnoli with the suplex.
- Mox, as a heel, looked comfortable, like a toff in a country club.
- The triple dive from Best Friends and Bandido was as thrilling as a Beatles reunion tour.
Chapter Three: Jade Cargill’s Open Challenge – Anyone Fancy a Bout?
This week, Jade Cargill, in a show of the audacity and bravado of a pop star challenging anyone to a karaoke contest, held an open challenge for her TBS Championship. The brave soul who stepped up was a young lass by the name of Danni Bee. But poor Danni had about as much luck as a three-legged horse at the Grand National, getting decimated by the champ as easily as a biscuit succumbs to a hot cuppa.
Seeing the swift dispatch of the challenger, Mark Sterling, not unlike a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat, unveiled another contender for the title. Enter Genesis. As Chris Jericho spun a heartfelt yarn about Genesis’ journey from overcoming a stroke to becoming a pro wrestler, Jade proceeded to dismantle her with the dispassionate efficiency of a bored teen cleaning their room. And thus, she pocketed her second win of the night.
Enter the Valkyrie
Just as we thought the action was winding down, a third opponent emerged. But before she could so much as tie her wrestling boots, Taya Valkyrie intercepted her, sauntered into the ring, and hit Jade with the Road to Valhalla, followed by a bit of microphone grandstanding to ruffle the champ’s feathers.
In truth, there’s not much more to add to this chronicle. Jade strolled away with two easy wins and lined up her next opponent as easily as knocking down skittles at the local bowling alley. Although not the most riveting of spectacles, it did what it had to do – it kept the plot moving. Much like an episode of a long-running soap opera, sometimes you just have to keep the story ticking over, and that’s precisely what it did.
WINNER: Jade Cargill
Notable Natter and Observations
- We’re left in the dark about the competitor that Taya sidelined. It’s like trying to find the chippy at 3am.
- Despite the predictability and the feeling of it being more staged than a pantomime horse, it did what it had to do – setting up the next big match.
Chapter Four: The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass vs. Varsity Athletes – Not Your Average School Sports Day
In the evening’s third act, Anthony Bowens, Max Caster and Billy ‘Daddy Ass’ Gunn strutted into the ring to face off against the formidable trio of Ari Daivari, Tony Nese and Josh Woods.
Before the telly box could switch to those all-important commercials, Daddy Ass was heaving and ho-ing, doing more heavy lifting than a dedicated gym rat on a protein shake diet. But, just as sure as night follows day, the tide turned during the ad break, with Woods, Daivari, and Nese seizing control of the proceedings.
Dust settled, and?
When the dust settled and we were back from our televised diversion, Caster managed to slap the much-needed hot tag to Bowens, shifting the match’s momentum like a gear change in a high-speed car chase.
This was your garden-variety trios match – nothing you wouldn’t see on a casual Tuesday afternoon at the local wrestling club. AEW has this formula down pat: the babyfaces start as hot as a curry on a summer’s day, the heels then ascend to power like villains in a Bond film, and then the babyfaces rally back like a determined cricket team in the final over. The only suspense left is about who will be popping the champagne when the bell tolls.
On this particular evening, The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass were the ones with grins wider than the Thames, their arms aloft in victory, courtesy of a well-executed Mic Drop from Caster. It was a bit like watching the Queen’s speech on Christmas Day – comforting, predictable, and leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
WINNER: The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass
Notable Natter and Observations
- Gunn has a size that surprises you. It’s like spotting a double-decker in a line-up of Mini Coopers.
- Varsity Athletes have a rather different book in ROH, quite odd given it’s the same bloke running both shows.
Chapter Five: Bishop Kaun vs. Dustin Rhodes – The Main Event of the Evening
Now, for the main event, we have Bishop Kaun and Dustin Rhodes going at it like a pair of rutting stags.
Following the impromptu kerfuffle between Ethan Page, The Ass Boys, Isiah Kassidy, and the evergreen Hardys, the spotlight shifted to the main event. We had Bishop Kaun squaring off against Dustin ‘The Natural’ Rhodes in a showdown worthy of EastEnders’ Christmas Special levels of drama.
Prince Nana was at Kaun’s corner, waving his flag like a dutiful squire, while Keith Lee, on the other hand, decided that tonight wasn’t the night for an escort and left Dustin to make his entrance solo. No sooner had The Natural slithered between the ropes, Kaun descended upon him like a hawk after a field mouse.
Kaun, the ROH six-man tag champ, established his dominance over the match like a stern headmaster overseeing an unruly class. A camera collision left Rhodes sporting a crimson mask, providing a macabre visual on the mat and fighters as we returned from the break.
This wasn’t just a singles match; it was an exciting mix of old-school nous and fresh-faced eagerness. Kaun handled himself brilliantly, selling Rhodes’ moves like a seasoned auctioneer, generating a palpable tension in the crowd. But in the end, The Natural’s experience won the day.
However, as Rhodes celebrated his victory, Brian Cage and Swerve Strickland crashed the party, attacking him from behind. This prompted Lee to rush to his rescue, a knight in shining armour. Alas, his heroics were short-lived, succumbing to a chair shot to his back. The show ended with the Mogul Embassy standing tall, basking in their ill-gotten glory. what a night at AEW Rampage Results May 19.
WINNER: Dustin Rhodes
Notable Natter and Observations
- Kaun looks like a toy action figure – perhaps something to do with a diet of raw eggs and push-ups.
- Chris Jericho challenged Adam Cole to an unsanctioned match at Double or Nothing.
- It’s always slightly off-kilter when we don’t get the pre-match interview with Mark Henry.
- So, there you have it. AEW Rampage was more chaotic than a Morris Dancing competition after too many ales. But don’t just take my word for it, tune in next week for more. If it’s anything like this week, it’ll be as exciting as arguing about whether jam or cream goes first on a scone!
The main event was a rip-roaring face-off between Bishop Kaun and Dustin Rhodes.
A young lass named Danni Bee accepted Jade Cargill’s open challenge but was easily defeated. Another challenger was Genesis.
The Acclaimed and “Daddy Ass” Billy Gunn emerged victorious in this thrilling match.
The match started off with Jon Moxley and Bandido leading their respective teams.
Dustin Rhodes collided with a camera during the match, resulting in a bloody scene.
The winners included the Blackpool Combat Club (BCC), Jade Cargill, The Acclaimed and “Daddy Ass” Billy Gunn, and Dustin Rhodes.