This week’s show AEW Rampage Results May 5, decided to grace our screens a tad early, all thanks to some playoff involving a ball, a puck, or whatever it is they kick, throw or hit around. But honestly, who cares? We got our wrestling fix earlier than usual, and that’s what truly matters, right?
Friday’s instalment blessed us with four matches, but the pièce de résistance was undoubtedly The Firm Deletion, a fresh twist on Matt Hardy’s signature match, set in the idyllic locale of The Hardy Family Compound.
So, without further ado, let’s delve into Friday’s shenanigans and find out if dear old Stokely Hathaway managed to escape the Carolinas with his life intact.
The Lucha Bros and Vikingo vs. Hobbs, Marshall and Solow
The night’s curtain-raiser was a delightful trios affair, featuring The Lucha Bros and Vikingo squaring off against Powerhouse Hobbs, QT Marshall, and Aaron Solow on AEW Rampage Results May 5.
Marshall and Vikingo set the stage with a zippy exchange, followed by Rey Fenix and Solow leaping into the fray with a flurry of strikes and takedowns.
Last but not least, Hobbs and Penta brought a much-needed dose of fun to the mix. As one might expect, the babyfaces dazzled us with bursts of high-flying antics, while the heels opted for more grounded tactics, double-teaming and skirting the rules like true ne’er-do-wells.
The result was a jolly good opening match, with two segments ensuring each wrestler had their moment in the spotlight. Hobbs undoubtedly stole the show for his team, but the trio on the other side were no slouches either.
No one will be shouting “Match of the Year” from the rooftops, but this little number would slot in nicely anywhere on any show, be it the opener, mid-card, or main event.
As Hobbs busied himself with the seemingly impossible task of decapitating poor Alex Abrahantes, Fenix and Penta swooped in to secure the win by pinning Solow.
Winners: The Lucha Bros and Vikingo
Grade: B+
TWK moments worthy of mention
- Marshall’s ambitious attempt to rival Vikingo’s agility had us all in stitches.
- Vikingo’s corner hurricanrana and phoenix splash were absolutely bonkers. His moves defy belief, as if someone dreamt up an entire video game moveset consisting solely of custom manoeuvres.
- Hobbs’ reaction to Penta’s superkick was priceless—genuinely looked like he’d been knocked into another dimension.
- Vikingo flexed some muscle, catching Solow midair during a crossbody attempt. Who says high-flyers can’t pack a punch?
Jade Cargill vs. Gia Scott
In a stroke of luck for local Baltimore talent Gia Scott, she got her moment in the TV spotlight. Alas, the poor lass had to face the indomitable Jade Cargill.
As you might expect, the TBS champion dispatched her in under a minute. Nothing new to see here, folks, as it’s the same old squash match we’ve witnessed time and time again. AEW Rampage Results May 5.
Winner: Jade Cargill
Grade: Lackluster – boring, went to use the restroom honestly.
TWK moments worthy of mention
- Scott certainly looked the part. She’d obviously put some effort into her snazzy gear.
- As for Cargill, one can’t help but feel it’s high time for her to face some worthy adversaries. Squashing jobbers this far into her title reign is becoming rather tiresome, don’t you think?
Mark Briscoe vs. Preston Vance
Mark Briscoe wasted no time in unleashing his fury upon Preston Vance, sending him packing from the ring from the get-go.
Despite the powerhouse’s best efforts to resist, Briscoe continued to dominate the pace, even taking a painful spill from a chair to the unforgiving floor.
After the commercial break, Briscoe made an impressive comeback, trading German suplexes and boots to the face with Vance in a thrilling display of athleticism.
Considering these two have never worked together, they put on a pretty decent match. Briscoe sealed the deal with the Jay Driller, celebrating his victory with his adorable offspring.
Winner: Mark Briscoe
Grade: B
TWK moments worthy of mention
- Briscoe’s backstage segment with Jay Lethal and the gang was going swimmingly until Sonjay Dutt started acting like a weirdo. Seriously, what was up with that?
- Briscoe’s senton onto an empty chair was downright crazy. That’s the sort of spot that could easily go sideways in so many ways.
- Briscoe is a master of the little things that elevate a match. Even the way he reacts to pain adds to the overall performance.
- The ending with his family was just plain heartwarming. Awww.
The Firm Deletion
The Firm Deletion was off to a rollicking start as Ethan Page, Stokely Hathaway, Big Bill, and Lee Moriarty arrived at the compound and destroyed Matt’s mailbox. Vanguard1 soon showed up and played a video to welcome them to the match, blinding them with a bright light and turning it into night. The Hardys, Isiah Kassidy, and Hook fired Roman candles at them to kick things off.
Big Bill was the only one on his team doing any real damage at the beginning, chokeslamming Kassidy into the side of a tree a few times. Both sides got in some decent offense as the match progressed, but since Matt and Jeff had the home advantage, they definitely had the edge.
Stokely found himself in the Hardy’s house and tried to mess with their entertainment system, but Reby put a stop to that with a stun gun, while the kids piled on top of him. But trust us, there’s so much more to this match than we can possibly summarize here. You really need to watch it for yourself to appreciate its sheer insanity.
It wasn’t the best Deletion match we’ve seen, but it wasn’t a complete dud either. Matt ultimately got the pin for his team, but Jeff made a quick exit to light up a giant symbol carved into the ground outside. Hey, if that’s what floats his boat, who are we to judge?
Winners: The Hardys, Kassidy, and Hook
Grade: B
TWK moments worthy of mention
- Hook just casually leaning against a tree at the start was hilarious.
- Taking a suplex on grass probably isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world.
- There’s something undeniably badass about Jeff snapping a branch off a tree to choke Big Bill with.
- The commercial break in the middle really killed the momentum. AEW, please upload a full version to YouTube!
- We won’t go into details, but let’s just say there were some jokes about orgasms. Yep, you read that right.
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